The Year In Television

I want to give something new a try so I am going to see if I can present the top moments in TV this past year. At least the best moments on TV that I witnessed and/or viewed myself. These are listed in no particular order.

1. The first moment was an episode of the NBC sitcom Community. The episode, titled Remedial Chaos Theory featured seven different time lines of the few minutes of show. Each version began with a different person going to pick up pizza for the group. Each version showed how reality split in many different threads which was decided by a toss of the dice and what happened in each version. It worked, it was entertaining, and it was fairly intelligent by today’s standards which is exactly why NBC had considered cancelling the show. Anybody else remember a show in the 70’s on ABC called Soap that was taken off because executives felt the show was too smart for it’s viewers? Yeah, that old fatal flaw.

2. Back in October while flipping through channels I saw this beauty of a campaign ad for Herman Cain done by his campaign manager. The cigarette proves he means that shit! Herman Cain’s smile at the end means he thought he just got a peek at some nipple.

3. A little show on AMC about zombies called The Walking Dead, perhaps you’ve heard of it, featured one of the oldest rules in Hollywood getting broken. You’re not supposed to show a kid getting shot on TV like that. Well, things have changed and this was a huge “WTF??” moment for me.

4. On MSNBC, political commentator Mark Halperin called President OBama a “dick” on live TV. Even though Mr. Halperin in the one with the potty mouth, he did ask ahead of time if they had a finger on the dump button. After being told to go ahead and say what he wanted, he does. Guess what? The didn’t have their finger on the dump button and then give him shit about it. How many times do I have to say: Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it!

5. American Idol stopped being a singing competition sometime during the second season. All it is now is a popularity contest and we know that most of the voters are tweenagers and most of them are females. This season, Casey Abrahms was one of the favorites to go far into the competition. So when he was voted off on week two of the competition everyone including me knew the judges were going to use their one and only “Save” (don’t get me started on this new bullshit rule) they get each season now. Everyone, that is, except for Casey himself. For a second I thought he was going to puke. It was an honest reaction on a show that has been pretty much one big lie since around 2003.

6. Was it or wasn’t it? During an episode of Dancing With The Stars on ABC, total bitch Nancy Grace seems to have what we here at The Man Hole call “A Nip Slip”. If you look at the video around the :30 mark you will see at the top of her right milk cannon something that looks like it may just be upper aureole. If it is she has some serious big and brown type nipples more commonly seen in Guatemala. Take a look and you be the judge. Perhaps the bigger question though should be: “Do we really give a fuck?”!

7. Late in the evening of May 1 I was watching a Phillies/Mets baseball game. The game was in the 13Th inning when the news that Osama Bin Laden had been killed began to circulate in the crowd at Citizen’s Bank Park. A “U-S-A” chant began and like the commentators say as the news made it’s way around the stadium the chant grew louder. Suddenly the game didn’t seem to matter anymore. This will serve as an answer for a lot of people when the question is asked in years to come: “Where were you when you found out Bin Laden was dead.”. A nice moment in Philly sports fan history who usually get a bad rep.

8. On HBO’s vampire drama True Blood, Nordic vampire Eric Northman suffered from amnesia at the beginning of this past season. He also hasn’t had much to eat recently. Add in the fact that fairy blood is like heroin to vampires and the woman talking to Sookie (Anna Paquin) is her fairy godmother, and you have a great moment. Eric drains her dry and then with the fairy’s blood still dripping from his mouth, Sookie tries to chastise him. His apologetic smile at the very end made me poop and pee myself a little!

9. During his show Anderson 360, while reporting on Gerard Depardieu being removed from a plane for urinating in the aisle, Anderson Cooper looses it. I think he would have been OK if he hadn’t added the poop part of the editorial. He giggles like a teenager until tears fall from his eyes. What I want to know is did anyone collect those tears? They may just be the tears of joy from a homosexual that we will find out cures cancer or gout or something like that. And all along I thought his best work was behind him when he was the host of The Mole.

10. Let’s get one thing straight: Zooey Dechanel is absolutely a-DORK-able. Her new show New Girl is getting a nice push by FOX so hopefully it will be around for a little bit longer. Even if the show isn’t here to stay she should be. The race is on to see if she will play Katy Perry in the Katy Perry story or vice-versa. Guess we have to see which one dies first. If Zooey can do an English accent maybe she can play Amy Winehouse in her Lifetime biopic.

11. Watch and listen to this clip of Bob Costas interviewing Jerry Sandusky after his arrest for sexually assaulting a few dozen kids in the shower at Penn State. Do it quickly though before the interview is confiscated as evidence. Did this guy want to give the prosecution a leg up when they go to trial? Was he trying to see how close he could get to a confession without actually giving one? Someone want to call OJ so he can give this guy some tips, he could use the help.

12. The Apprentice sucks, I can’t stand the show. Celebrity Apprentice, however, is a different creature all together. This past season, while trying to see who is the better business man or woman (at least in Donald Trump’s opinion anyway), contestant and celebrity (at least he still was the last time I checked), Meatloaf was having a bad day. Meat thinks his teammate Gary Busey is trying to sabotage him by hiding his portion of the art supplies they just went to the store to buy. Best part of the whole thing was Gary had nothing to do with it. The supplies were just moved by another teammate; John Rich. You can’t make this shit up!

13. Comedy Central (remember when the channel actually WAS funny? Yeah, me neither) knows how to throw a roast. When Charlie Sheen went all Tiger Blood and Duh, Winning! earlier in the year I thought his career was done. Shows how much I know. Turns out it may have been the best thing he could have done. While it still remains to be seen if attempting professional suicide is a good idea or not, we got some good television. Comedy Central brought us The Roast Of Charlie Sheen. It featured the comedic talents of Mike Tyson, Steve O (wait, the names get better, I promise), Patrice O’Neil (who recently passed away and oddly enough was filling in for Greg Giraldo who had died earlier this year), Jeff Ross (dressed as Gaddafi), William Shatner, a lot of other people I never heard of, and Seth McFarland hosting the festivities. The entire thing was pretty funny and the best part: no Mike “The Situation” on this one!