The Countdown To Halloween Day 31 The Blob (1958/1988)

 

 

We have arrived at our destination, and the spookiest day of the year is finally here!  To celebrate the day, I come to you with not one but TWO films in one post.  What I have to offer is two versions of the same film.  The Blob from 1958 and The Blob from 1988.  First, I want to recognize that 30 years is an appropriate amount of time between a film and its remake.  I think less time than that it gets a little redundant.  Take the 1941 version of The Maltese Falcon, a great film but did a remake need to be made just ten years after the original, I think not.  Some more recent examples of films being remade too soon after the original, just look at two of Marvel Comics biggest superheroes.  Spiderman and The Hulk, both of which had remakes made in five years time.

 

 

Now, I’m not counting the remakes that take a foreign movie and remakes it into an American film, i.e. The Ring and The Grudge.  Two Japanese films made two and four years apart, respectively.  Let’s talk about the first Blob, let’s call it Blob Sr. or better yet, let’s not.  The original, from 1958 starred a young Steve McQueen (The Great Escape, Bullitt, and The Magnificent Seven) as Steve Andrews, a teenager living in rural Pennsylvania.  Steve and his girlfriend Jane, played by Aneta Corsaut (Blazing Saddles and The Toolbox Murders) are parked at lovers’ lane when a meteor crashes nearby.  While they are looking for where it landed an old man finds it and then pokes it with a stick.  Well, what would you do?

 

 

Yeah, probably just about anything else, I’m with you on that one.  After the old man breaks the meteor open a small jelly like substance attaches itself to the man’s arm.  Eventually the jelly like substance devours the old man and then begins to squish itself all over the Pennsylvania town trying to take people out.  I’ve been watching this since I was a kid, and I was never very frightened by it but I found it entertaining, nonetheless.  Being McQueen’s first film, he’s not very polished (I mean his character’s name is Steve, so it’s either to make it easier for the actor or it’s just lazy film making) he as well as most of the actors’ performances are a little stiff and choppy.  The effects are what they are for a mid-50’s film and the writing seems a little hurried.

 

 

One of the most ridiculous moments happens when Steve and Jane along with a bunch of other teens (McQueen was nearly 30 years old at the time) try to figure out what happened to the old man as well as what happened to the doctor who was treating the old man.  Outside of the old man’s house they hear a dog barking.  Steve (or maybe it’s one of the other ones, I don’t remember for sure) says something like “I think the barking is coming from the house”.  The braininac they have with them named Moochie (a side note, if you’re watching a movie that was made or takes place in the 50’s and there is a character named Moochie, don’t expect him to be doing rocket science) “It doesn’t sound like a house, it sounds like a dog”.  SMDH!

 

 

The Blob (1958) was filmed in eastern Pennsylvania, and you can still (I think you can anyway) go to Blobfest.  This is a sort of convention held in Phoenixville, and it features many festivities celebrating The Blob.  You can even go to the Colonial Theater and watch Daughter of Horror which is the same film that is playing at the theater in The Blob.  They also have The Blob Run where you can run from the theater like they do in the film and check out more of the locations featured in the film.  Something I’ve always wanted to partake of but alas still have not had the opportunity.  The original film is a cheesy science fiction classic with a catchy opening theme song.  It even ends on a little bit of a cliffhanger.  Now, over the years my enjoyment of the film has waned just a bit, but I will still give it three air raid sirens out of five.  I almost said three kaiju out of five but is the blob a legit kaiju?  Maybe that’s a discussion for another day.  Moving on!

 

 Let’s talk about the 1988 remake of The Blob now.  Directing here is Chuck Russell who has also directed The Mask, Scorpion King, and A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors.  Dream Warriors being (in my opinion) the best Elm Street film in the series aside from the original of course.  Starring here is Kevin Dillon (Platoon, The Doors, and Entourage) as Brian, a high school student.  Shawnee Smith, who stars in many of the films in the Saw franchise, is Meg, a cheerleader in high school.  The two of them, along with Paul, portrayed by Donovan Leitch (Glory and Cutting Class), find a homeless man with a jellylike substance on his hand and take him to the hospital.  This is similar to how the first film began.  Unlike the first one however is the response to the creature’s killer rampage.

 

 

Where in the original it took forever for the teenagers (at least Dillon was only around 21 here and not half way to retirement) to get the authorities to believe them, here only do they believe them quickly here, but there is also a massive response from government officials including the military.  Also starring is Jeffrey DeMunn (The Green Mile and The Mist) as Sheriff Geller as well as Bill Moseley (Three From Hell and The Devil’s Rejects) in an early blink and you might miss him role as one of the featured soldiers.  This blob origin is less alien species from space in nature and more, shall we say domestic.  I liked that this dug a little deeper into the story and gave us a bit more, shall I say substance, to the creature. 

 

The story goes very similarly to the original but the special effects here, even for the late 80s, seem so ahead of its time.  Maybe they're not but compared to the first one, it’s apples and oranges.  The acting is better here also (a little anyway) and not one person mistakes a dog barking for a house.  The story is less innocent this time reflecting the state of mind in the world politically.  Aw man, I almost forgot to mention what should be listed as another cast member and that is Kevin Dillon’s mullet.  This thing is epic.  I don’t know if that’s all his, I mean how can it be, it’s almost as big as the blob in some scenes.  Damn, if I ever get to meet him at a monster convention I’m asking him about it.  This time the film was not shot in Pennsylvania but rather Louisiana. 

 

 

So, my question for you is do you want a small quaint and charming old-fashioned sci-fi film, or do you want a hard-hitting gore fest.  Compared to the first one anyway, because they are your options between the two blob films.  In a rare occurrence I admit, while the two movies are close (in score) for me I give the remake the edge here and give the ’88 version three and a half hazmat suits out of five.  Well, there you have it, another Countdown to Halloween in the books.  I’m not sure where I will go from here but if you’re reading this on my blog, I will be returning in the new year with more of the LOST re-watch and probably a few posts during the holiday season.  Thanks for visiting and stopping by, hope to see you again.  If you’re reading this on Letterboxd, you can be sure that you will be hearing from me soon.  Even if it is just a few sentence comment I'm sure I'll have something to say.  I want to give credit where credit is due and tell you all of the photos included in the posts this month (on Blogger that is) are all from each films IMDb page.  I also want to thank the Horror Honey Dee Dee for her contribution this year and to say I couldn’t do this without her.  Happy Halloween to all my creeps, now kindly GET OFF MY FREAKIN' LAWN!!

 

 
 

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

The Countdown To Halloween Day 30 Heretic (2024)

 

Oh, it is a special day here on The Countdown to Halloween, it is the day before Halloween meaning in some places it is Mischief Night as it is known in my neck of the woods.  I’ve also heard it called Hell Night, which I think might be in Detroit Michigan among other places.  I remember several years ago fires being set and some crazy stuff going on instead of the more innocent fun where we toilet papered houses and soaped up some windows.  Now not only is it the eve of All Hallows but today we have a special guest reviewer.  I asked Dee Dee, my Horror Honey, if she would do a review for the countdown and she first said ‘No.”, and while I was crushed, I accepted her decision and moved on.  A little while later she came back and said she would give it a try so without further ado I will hand it off to her but don’t worry you’re in good hands.  Now I will say this though, I’ve read her review and let me give you a BIG WARNING:  She gives a lot of spoilers in her review so proceed with caution.  I will be back at the end of the review to put my two cents in but take it away Miss Dee Dee Delite.

 

Heretic is a tense psychological horror film directed by the film making duo of Scott Beck and Bryan Woods.  They also directed the supernatural thriller Nightlight, 65, and the slasher film Haunt.  They also co-wrote the two sequels to A Quiet Place, which are the only films in their resume I have seen.  The movie starts innocently with two young Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints women proselytizing in a small town.  Sister Barnes is confident and self-assured, played by Sophie Thatcher who stars in Companion and is the teenage Natalie in Yellowjackets.  Sister Paxton, who is quieter and anxious to have her first conversion, is played by Chloe East who started her career as a child actress in True Blood and was recently featured in The Fablemans and A Big Bold Beautiful Journey.

 

As it starts to rain, they knock on the door of Mr. Reed, played by Hugh Grant.  We quickly realize that he is not playing one of his usual Rom-Com characters that he made famous in Notting Hill, Bridget Jones Diary, About a Boy, or Love Actually.  Sisters Barnes and Paxton are reluctant to enter his home, but he assures them his wife is in the kitchen making a blueberry pie.  As they try to spread their message Mr. Reed flips the table on them and weaves an increasingly ominous view of religion.  They ask him again to have his wife in the room, and when he goes to get her, they notice the candle burning is Blueberry Pie scent.  They then try to leave the house only to discover they are locked in and there really isn’t a Mrs. Reed.

 

 

Reed leads them on a trail through the labyrinth like basement of his house, which he also has a model of.  We see him adding hand carved pieces of them to the tableau.  Sister Barnes becomes increasingly outspoken, and Reed slashes her throat.  Sister Peyton runs and passes through multiple doors which leads her to a room full of cages with emaciated women held captive.  She sees that Reed only craves power and control and stabs him with a letter opener when he catches up to her.  Trying to escape, she ends up in the first room with Sister Barnes' body.  Reed almost kills her when Barnes bashes him on the head with a board that has nails sticking out it.  Seeing she has saved her friend, Barnes collapses and dies.  Peyton runs and finally finds a way to escape the house.  Hugh Grant did a nice job portraying the weird religious/control freak.  An interesting thriller that I will give three and a half blueberry candles.  

 

And there you have it, Dee Dee’s very first film review here on The Countdown to Halloween.  Now, my two cents:  Hugh Grant is incredible in Heretic.  I’ve never seen him more ominous and while being vaguely threatening, he never really comes across as a nutter which he certainly is.  The only thing I wanted to add that Dee Dee didn’t touch on is the fact that an unrecognizable Topher Grace (That 70s Show and Interstellar) plays the part of Elder Kennedy who shows up at Mr. Reed’s door looking for the two women.  I do agree with her score, and I also give this three and a half songs from The Hollies out of five.

 

 

The Countdown to Halloween Day 29 The Witches of Eastwick (1987)

 

 

I first saw The Witches of Eastwick back when it first released to movie theaters.  I think I went with my doddily doo Cerpts and possible our friend Paul was with us as well.  I remember liking it good enough but that was the one and only time I had seen it.  I figured October was the perfect time of year to reconnect with it so let’s jump in and see what we have.  First let’s start with who stars and that is a list of who’s who of movie stars.  First up is the legendary Jack Nicholson, and I could make a list of films he has been in that would be longer than my arm but I'll name a few.  He was in The Shining, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, A Few Good Men, Batman, As Good as It Gets, and Easy Rider.

 

 

OK, that’s enough.  Jack stars as Daryl Van Horne, a mysterious man who moves into a neighborhood in a gorgeous Rhode Island town.  Three women (the titular “witches”) are played by Cher (Moonstruck, Silkwood, and Mask), Susan Sarandon (Thelma & Louise, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and Dead Man Walking), and Michelle Pfeiffer (Scarface, Antman and the Wasp, and Batman Returns).  Alex (Cher) is a sculptor, Jane (Sarandon) is a music teacher, and Suki (Pfeiffer) is a newspaper reporter.  For one reason or another, all three women have recently lost their husbands.  Cue the arrival of Daryl, who when he first moves into town, is not looked upon favorably.

 

 

In fact, he is referred to (at least by one woman, more on her later) as “He whose name is easily forgotten”.  Daryl moves into the biggest, fanciest, and most expensive home in town.  Everyone in town is absolutely beguiled by his arrival, except for the one who I mentioned earlier.  That woman, Felicia, is the very devout wife of the editor of the town newspaper.  Felicia, played by Veronica Cartwright (Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Alien, and The Birds), is married to Suki’s boss Clyde Alden, which of course makes things complicated.  Richard Jenkins (The Shape of Water, The Cabin in the Woods, and Step Brothers) stars as Alden.

 

 

Daryl successfully ( and quite easily too) manages to seduce all three women which causes a rift to form between the ladies.  However, they soon decide to settle their argument and share Daryl, allowing all three of them to claim him as their boyfriend.  All this of course angers Felicia and she sees to it that the women are soon treated as the town outcasts.  Wicked hilarity ensues.  Also featured here is Carl Struycken who I absolutely adored as the gentle giant from Twin Peaks.  Struycken plays Fidel, Daryl’s butler.  Surprisingly, the film is directed by George Miller who also directed all the Mad Max films, and I do mean ALL of them.  He’s also directed both Happy Feet animated films, so I guess the guy is multifaceted.

 

 Now, while being entertaining and funny, it sometimes struggles to not fall into the category of being silly.  While all three actresses are to be commended for their roles, all three are great, it’s Jack who absolutely steals the film.  In fact, as I have praised all three women stars, the person that comes the closest to equaling Nicholson here is Cartwright in her role as the up tight bible thumper who is nearly as off the wall as Jack is.  A little personal note, I was just in the process of moving into the dorms at Boston College right after filming of the movie had completed.  It was filmed in the Boston area not Rhode Island where it is supposed to take place.  All everyone could talk about was how the entire town was star struck as sightings of the cast had been made all over eastern Massachusetts.

 

 

Thankfully I missed that hysteria, but I wasn’t as lucky with all the Cheers’ insanity that was going on.  Even though Cheers wasn’t filmed anywhere near Boston, the bar it was fashioned from (The Bull and Finch) was a huge tourist attraction, sometimes making it impossible to get through that area of the city.  So, I said all that so I could tell you the scenery here is idyllic (if small New England towns are your thing that is) and many of the areas are easily identified if you have spent any time in the area.  Nostalgically is of course how I wax!  Three and a half cherry pits out of five for this horror comedy (it IS a dark horror comedy so don’t “at” me) fun romp from the 80’s.

 

  

The Countdown To Halloween Day 28 Trilogy of Terror (1975)

 

 

Trilogy of Terror was a horror anthology movie of the week made for television.  Dan Curtis (Burnt Offerings and The Night Strangler) does the directing here.  The stories as all written by classic horror writer Richard Mattheson.  Matthewson also gave us I Am Legend, Duel, and The Incredible Shrinking Man.  Legendary stuff!  Trilogy of Terror consists of three short stories, all starring Karen Black, who you might have seen in Easy Rider or House of 1,000 Corpses.  Also starring in the first story is Black’s husband (at the time) Robert Burton (Bucktown and Prey for the Wildcats) as Chad.  The first story is titled Julie (Black) who is a college English teacher.  Chad is her student and after several attempts she agrees to go out with him on a date.  He seems obsessed with her and creeps around Julie’s bedroom and watches her undress.

 

 

Things get really creepy afterwards when Chad spikes her drink in order to take her back to his place and take photos of her.  This one doesn’t play out like you would expect it to.  The second story, Millicent and Therese, is about two sisters both of which are played by Black.  Millicent hates her twin sister Therese.  Millicent tells her therapist, Dr. Ramsey, that Therese had a sexual affair with their father and poisoned their mother.  Ramsey goes to the family house and speaks to Therese who comes onto him.  After he refuses her advances, she throws him out of the house.  Millicent decides to use voodoo to try and kill her sister.  Ramsey is portrayed by George Gaines who you might know from several of the Police Academy movies, but I will always remember him as the mob boss Frank Smith that Luke and Laura brought down on General Hospital back in the 80's.

 

 

The third (and best) story is titled Amelia.  Amelia, once again played by Black, cancels plans with her mother to see her boyfriend on his birthday.  Her boyfriend is an anthropologist, and she has gotten him a Zuni fetish doll as a gift.  The small doll looks like a sort of ancient hunter/warrior.  It has long, pointed teeth and carries a spear.  Legend says that the doll has the spirit of a Zuni hunter and is named He Who Kills.  Nice name.  There is a gold chain around the doll’s waist that is supposed to keep the spirit under control.  Amelia leaves the room and while she is away the gold chain falls off.  As you can guess, chaos ensues.  Black felt Trilogy of Terror pigeonholed her into a career filled with B movie horror films.  This doesn’t seem to be so far fetched because after Trilogy, she was in quite a lot of horror films that were less than blockbusters.

 

 

Now, here’s the thing, this is considered a horror classic for one reason and that is the third story.  The first story is OK, the second one is a bit better (Black plays crazy well in it), but they are both nothing compared to Amelia.  That motha effin’ little doll!  I watched this when it first came out at the impressionable age of six.  I was in first grade!  Amelia scared the pants off me.  At that time of night, I probably had my jam jams on by then, so it scared me out of my blue Scooby Doo footie pj's.  This is often described as one of the scariest TV horror films ever made and, in some instances, the number one TV horror film of all time.  For the most part, I agree but I wish the first two stories were a bit better and unfortunately, I lay most of the blame for this squarely on the shoulders of horror writer William F. Nolan.  Nolan (Logan’s Run and Burnt Offerings), a regular co-creator with Curtis, adapted the first two stories for the small screen.

 

 

Amelia was adapted by Mattheson himself.  So, did that make the difference?  Maybe, but I get why the first two are the way they are, and the third one is the way it is.  The first two are more psychological horror with more of the story happens in the viewers’ minds and left to the imagination.  The third story would have aired sometime around 10:00 in the evening, which would have given it a bit more leeway and allowed the insanity that we see.  The final twenty minutes or so are some of the best moments of TV that I’ve ever seen.  Of course, there is little to no blood and gore at all but there doesn’t need to be.  You can watch Amelia and see where Chucky from Child’s Play came from, in fact I’m going to go out on a limb and say “He Who Kills” is Chucky's grandfather.  I will give this cult classic three and a half drive in movie theaters out of five.  If you watch it only for the last story you will be doing yourself a huge solid.  The other two – meh.

 

 

 
 

The Countdown To Halloween Day 27 Monster: The Ed Gein Story (2025)

 

Before I watched this (all 8 episodes of it) I thought I knew all there was to know about Ed Gein.  I was wrong.  If you don’t know who he was well, he was a pretty big sicko.  Murderer, grave robber, possible serial killer, and cross dresser.  Starring as Gein is Charlie Hunnam (Sons of Anarchy and Children of Men) who is super creepy.  Not sure how I felt about the voice he adapted for the role, but it was certainly different.  I went and listened to some recordings of Gein and Hunnam didn’t sound much like him.  To me he sounded like the guy in Office Space that was obsessed with his stapler.  But here's the deal, did Hunnam do it just to make the character sound different?  If so, he succeeded.

 

 

Playing Gein’s mother is Laurie Metcalf (Roseanne and Big Bang Theory) and she is playing the part as a stricter and God-fearing woman than she did as Sheldon Cooper’s mother.  I know the miniseries is about Ed, but Metcalf nearly steals the whole show; she is just that good.  Playing Ed’s love interest Adeline, (she was only his love interest in the series not in real life, this is just one of the differences included in the series that critics didn’t like) is Suzanna Son (Fear Street Prom Queen and Red Rocket) who, after a few episodes, you begin to realize isn’t quite right either.  Tom Hollander (About Time and Bohemian Rhapsody) plays Alfred Hitchcock, and I must be honest here, they needed to get someone else to play the role.  Nothing against Hollander but wow, that was just awful.

 

 

 Now I know you’re asking why Alfred Hitchcock would be in a movie about Ed Gein?  Well, the real-life story of Ed Gein is the influence for the Norman Bates character in Hitchcock’s film Psycho.  Not only that but Gein is also the influence for Leatherface in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs is also based on Gein.  Like I said earlier, this guy was a sicko!  The series follows Gein over the course of forty years.  Starting in the early 1940s through his years as a patient in Mendotta Mental Health Institute.  His actual convictions included two counts of murder (he was suspected of committing seven more), and nine counts of corpse mutilation.  You can do your research to see exactly what he did, especially the corpse mutilation crimes.  Disturbing is a good way to describe it.
 

 

I understand the people who complain the series isn’t completely factual but really, the story is a dramatization of the actual story, so I’ll accept it and move on.  While I never saw the Jeffrey Dahmer series on Monster, I did see the Menendez brother’s series.  This wasn’t as good as the Menendez series but it’s not terrible.  Also, this could have easier been shorter.  I’m talking shorter by like two episodes, especially at the end where a lot of stuff is added that never happened.  I will give it three lampshades made from a human face (this one really happened too!) out of five.  This isn’t for everyone, and I can’t even say it’s an acquired taste.  No, do NOT acquire a taste for that!

 

The Countdown To Halloween Day 26 VFW (2019)

 

VFW is described as a splatter action film.  Which  sounded good to me so I went all in.  The film is directed by Joe Begos who also directed Bliss, that I saw and really enjoyed.  He also directed the Christmas horror film Christmas Bloody Christmas that I have not gotten around to yet, but I heard it’s a lot of fun.  VFW is also fun.  Starring as the older veterans of foreign wars (what VFW stands for) is Stephen Lang (Avatar and Don’t Breathe) as Fred the owner of the bar, Martin Kove (The Karate Kid original trilogy and Rambo First Blood Part 2) is Lou, William Sadler (The Shawshank Redemption and The Mist) is Walter, David Patrick Kelly (The Warriors and 48 Hrs.) stars as Doug.

Also appearing is George Wendt, you know, Norm from Cheers, as Thomas and Fred Williamson (From Dusk Til Dawn and Starsky & Hutch) as Abe.  All these men were in the Vietnam War and meet up regularly.  Also, there is a younger veteran of Desert Storm, Shawn, played by Tom Williamson (All Cheerleaders Die and The Fosters).  Shawn, an Army Ranger, has just come home on leave and wants to see his wife.  When a young girl runs into the bar trying to get away from the street gang that she stole drugs from the night turns deadly.  The men try to protect the girl as well as defend the bar which is being attacked by the drug gang.

This is a splatter horror for sure, I mean there is lots of blood spilled so you have been warned if that isn’t your thing.  The street gang, high on their drug they call Hype, are a deadly force that the older men must fight off.  This is a clever film driven by the veteran’s knowledge of warfare and how to protect themselves.  There are certainly some creative moments here.  There’s not a lot to the story but what is there is done very well.  I will give this three and a half gun trucks out of five.  Let the drinks and the blood flow!

 

The Countdown To Halloween Day 25 Oculus (2013)

 

About a week left until the big day and we have Mike Flanagan back again.  Oculus stars Karen Gillian (Doctor Who and The Guardians of the Galaxy) and Brenton Thwaites (Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales and Maleficent) as a pair of siblings.  Tim (Thwaites) has just been released from a mental institute that he was committed to after his parents died when he was 11 years old.  He was blamed for killing his parents, but his sister Kaylie (Gillian) believe the deaths were caused by a supernatural force inside a cursed mirror.  For ten years Tim was coming to terms with the fact that he did indeed kill his parents and nothing paranormal occurred.

Shortly after he is released Kaylie gets the mirror back and brings it to their family home where she keeps it locked in a special room complete with a fail-safe to protect them from the mirror’s power.  Also starring is Katee Sackhoff (Halloween: Resurrection and Riddick) as Marie, Tim and Kaylie’s mother, and Rory Cochrane (Dazed and Confused and Empire Records) is their father Alan.  The film is told in two different time periods including the present when Tim is first released and ten years ago when their parents die.  Playing Marisol Chavez is Kate Siegel who is in just about everything Flanagan does since she is his wife.  

This was filmed before they were married and might be where they first met and saw their love bloom.  Eww!  Anyway, Marisol is ghost with mirrors for eyes, and she seduces Alan.  What happens after all this is a little convoluted and what started off strong struggles to pull off the stories ending.  I liked Oculus but I didn’t love it.  I mean, why the hell would Kaylie want to get the same mirror that she thinks is responsible for her parents’ deaths and then mess with it?  It sounds insane but that’s exactly what happens.  The film is an adaption of Flanagan’s earlier short film Oculus: Chapter 3 – The Man with the Plan.

I watched that several years ago and didn’t care for it very much so I took a chance that the full-length movie would be better.  And it is, but not by much.  The movie is filled with creepy imagery but as I said the switching between the two time periods eventually gets to be too much and it gets annoying.  Instead of making me feel sorry for Gillian’s character she just ends up pissing me off.  If you love your brother, who just got released from a psychiatric hospital, you don’t reintroduce him to the exact thing that sent him there in the first place.  Not Flanagan’s best but not due to lack of effort, the story just didn’t do it for me.  I will give this three wilted houseplants out of five.

The Countdown to Halloween Day 24 Monsterland (2016)

2016’s Monsterland is another horror anthology and there’s nothing better than a horror anthology that I haven’t seen before.  Well, if it’s good that is, also add in I’m watching this during the Halloween season and it’s exactly what I want to see right about now.  We have Indiegogo to thank for several of the stories that make up Monsterland.  For the most part though this one comes to us from Dread Central which is a web site dedicated to everything horror.  Steve Barton, to be exact, is producer here and he is also responsible for giving us Terrifier 2 and Zombieland.

Monsterland is comprised of nine short films that, as is the norm with anthologies, run the gambit of crap to pretty good.  This one has a wrap around story and it’s one of the better ones I have seen in recent memory.  It really adds to the film instead of slowing it down like some do at times.  The first story is a short that is sort of a Jaws rip-off minus the shark.  I guess because I never really saw what was attacking the skinny dippers.  It’s short so let’s move on to something else.  The Grey Matter is a humorous film about a guy with a parasite in his head.  No, this is not the RFK Jr. story, this isn’t that scary.

Next up is Curiosity Kills, one of the better shorts of the film.  Hag comes next and it is probably the scariest story of the bunch.  A very short, animated story is next titled Monster Man and it’s not bad either.  Next up is another one of the better stories titled House Call about a man, who may be turning into a vampire, that visits a dentist.  Happy Memories is done with puppets, and I almost fast forwarded through this one but I toughed it out and it was easily the story I enjoyed the least.  The film ends (not counting the final wrap around part) with two of the stronger shorts in the film.  Stay at Home Dad might be my favorite if Curiosity Kills isn’t.  This one is a hoot!

Finally, Hellyfish is a story about a gigantic jellyfish that goes on a rampage.  Now, as far as the actors here, there are no names I have ever heard of before.  That’s not a bad thing though as honestly, I didn’t think any one was terrible here.  Remember the worst part was a story with puppets in it so nobody to blame for that really except for the writers.  There is a director or two I will mention here and one of them is Andrew Kasch who has also directed stories from Tales of Halloween and Isolation which are two more horror anthologies.  The other is John Skipp who also directed a story in Tales of Halloween but is also a talented horror writer who has nearly a dozen books to his name.  His books have sold millions of copies.

What we have here is a typical horror anthology with ups and downs in the quality of the stories but like most anthologies the good part is if you don’t like the story you are currently watching just give it a few minutes.  Things will start fresh again when a new story begins and you have a new chance to see something you like.  I do have to say that this is not the first time I’ve had penile dismemberment feature in a film during the countdown to Halloween.  I don’t want to see a pattern forming here!  While this is no Creepshow, Monsterland has its moments when it does shine.  I will give this three irradiated pet rats out of 5 but YMMV.