Oblivian (1994)

 

Hey, I just realized I didn’t have anything even remotely connected to Charles Band in the Countdown to Halloween yet.  In reality after this post I 99% still won’t but Oblivion is an outer space western that is taken from a story idea by good old Charlie himself.  A “story idea” is sort of like having a “concept of a plan”.  The year is 3031 and in the town of Oblivion, the wild west is alive and well.  The town sheriff, Marshal Stone has just been killed by an alien outlaw who goes by the name Red Eye.  Red Eye, who is played by Andrew Divoff (Another 48hrs. and Wishmaster) takes over the town.  Divoff also played the role of the Russian guy with a patch over one eye in LOST that we all called “Patchy”.  Damn I miss that show!  Everyone in Oblivion lives in fear of Red Eye so the town undertaker Gaunt sneaks away in search of Marshal Stone’s son Zack.

 

Gaunt, who is played by Carel Struycken (Twin Peaks and Adams Family Values), has the psychic ability to see the next person who is about to die.  Richard Paul Joseph (The Primevals and Vampirella) is Zack who just happens to be a pacifist.  Zack saves a man named Bluteo who is played by Jimmie Skaggs (Puppet Master and Ghost Town) and together with Gaunt they head back to Oblivion.  Also starring as Zack’s love interest Mattie, is Jackie Swanson who also starred in Cheers and Lethal Weapon.  The best part of Oblivion (the film not the town) is all of the secondary character that have primary character resumes.  First up is Meg Foster (They Live and Lords of Salem) who is Stell Barr an android who is also the town deputy.  Next is George Takai (Star Trek the TV show and even more Star Trek movies with like being in nearly a dozen of them) as Doc Valentine the towns doctor and inventor who was friends with Zack’s father.  Julie Newmar (she was Catwoman in the Batman TV show and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers) is Miss Kitty the town Madam who runs the local whorehouse.  Last one I want to mention is Isaac Hayes (South Park and Escape From New York) who plays Buster who I think was the town blacksmith.  I’m not sure it’s ever really shown what it is he does in town.

 

 

I mention all of these because every one of them absolutely chews the scenery in any scene they are in and basically make the movie worth watching.  Funny little side note here: Oblivion looks like the movie they are making in the new Fall Guy movie with Ryan Gossling and Emily Blunt, I mean I know it’s not, but it just looks like it.  Sam Irving handles the directing duties here who also directed Elvira’s Haunted Hills and a boat load of those Hallmark Christmas movies.  One of the things I have to point out is the stop motion Harryhausen like giant scorpions that appear a few times in the movie.  They look so good, funny, but good.  I enjoyed it because of it’s cheesy goodness.  Some of the lines are softball pitches just lobbed up there to be knocked out of the park and everybody does just that when they get the chance.  I’ll go three pairs of ass-less chaps out of five.  While writing this review I discovered there’s a sequel to this that I have to go check out someday soon.