Pet Sematary: Bloodlines (2023)

 

 

For some reason, probably that I’m a sucker for punishment, I decided to watch the prequel to the pretty horrible remake of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary.  Bloodlines was written and directed by Lindsey Anderson Beer.  This was her first foray into directing a full-length major motion picture.  It’s also the first one she has written as well.  She is also writing the live action remake of Disney’s Bambi, and the next Star Trek film so hang on this could get bumpy.  But that’s in the future; Pet Sematary Bloodlines is our “right now” subject.  Starring as Jud (he’s playing the same role Fred Gwynne and John Lithgow played in the original and the remake) is Jackson White (Ambulance and Mrs. Fletcher).  Jud along with his girlfriend Norma who is played by Natalie Alyn Lind (Dead Dumb Diary and Mockingbird) are going into the Peace Corps.  The year is 1969 and Bill Baterman has taken his son Timmy, who died in Vietnam, to the local Indian burial ground.

 

 

Baterman, played by David Duchovny (X-Files and Zoolander), has heard of the local legend about what happens when you bury pets there and really wants his son back.  This story is touched on in the book and the original film.  Baterman tells Jud and Norma that Timmy has been honorably discharged (he kept the fact Timmy was killed a secret) and has returned home.  The morning Jud and Norma are leaving for Michigan to begin their duty in the Peace Corps they find the Baterman’s dog Hendrix standing in the middle of the road.  Hendrix is looking bad and they help lead him home.  When they get there, they see Timmy.  Shortly after they get to the Baterman home Hendrix violently bites Norma.  Jud takes her to the hospital.  Another one of Timmy’s friends, Manny, who is walking in a field of sunflowers sees blood dripping off of a plant and accidentally impales his hand with a huge thorn.  Manny, who is played by Forrest Goodluck (The Revenant and The Miseducation of Cameron Post), goes to the hospital and sees Jud there. 

 

Jud and Manny talk about Timmy, who they grew up with and were close friends.  Manny thinks Timmy may be suffering from PTSD,  but it is soon shown it is much worse than that.  After leaving the hospital, Norma was admitted btw, Jud goes back to Timmy’s house and sees Timmy, who is played by Jack Mulhern (The Boys in the Boat and Old Man Rush), standing over a dead pig.  Later we see Timmy in his basement making a list of peoples names that he is writing in blood.  He tells himself he will kill them before they kill him.  Also starring as Jud’s father, Dan Crandle, is Henry Thomas (E.T. and Gangs of New York) and Samantha Mathis (Pump Up the Volume and American Psycho) plays Jud’s mother Kathy.  Also co-starring is Pam Grier (Coffy and Jackie Brown) as police officer Majorie Washburn.  If you know the deal with this infamous Pet Sematary, you know what you are in for.  Some people die and then come back because people are stupid and then more people are killed. 

 

As I said, this is the prequel that we didn’t know we needed.  It’s violent and gory but that doesn’t always make a good horror film.  Duchovny, Grier, and Mathis are hardly in the film so virtually they are wasted here.  Duchovny does the most work of the three but as I said it’s not enough to make this palatable.  One of the worst things I think you can say about a horror film is it’s boring and Bloodlines is that.  The film is less than 90 minutes, and it feels like it’s a lot longer than that.  Some people like this or grade this better than the 2019 remake but I don’t see it.  At least with the first remake everything felt familiar, I felt safe going into it.  I gave that two and a half stars and for this prequel (say it's not so dear Cthulu but they claim there’s going to be more films made in the series) so I have to cut the score back here and give it two Wendigoag (that's the plural of Wendigo believe it or not) out of five.  Even hardcore King fan’s (like me) might have a hard time with this one.